So I'm sitting here in my bed with Alexandra and Tove with the intentions of working on our Model United Nations resolutions, but instead we just all ended up doing our blogs and email and stuff. Productive.

Too much going on, like usual. I'm getting First Aid training this week, but I think the reality is that I don't have enough time to be a First Aider. I'm running for 3 different spots in different organizations on top of all my regular schoolwork and I've decided to more regularly write for the school magazine. Ehhhh.

MUN is stressing everyone out so much. I'm representing Pakistan, head scarf and all. Should be interesting, and will definitely have pictures.

Holed up in my bed and watched the State of the Union address the other day...the entire like, hour of it. 'Twas interesting and quite worthwhile. If Congress hadn't given a standing ovation every 2 minutes, it would have been better, but that is the beauty of an unnecessarily burgeoning bureaucracy. Still, I thought it was something for most Americans to be proud of. Internal affairs are another issue, but the President seemed to actually be outlining what was, for him, frighteningly close to actual exit strategy in Iraq and pledged millions of dollars to eliminate HIV/AIDS in Africa as well as troops and money to Darfur. Also, I could have watched the speech just to see the reactions of Nancy Pelosi and Hillary Clinton. They were amusingly restrained with their applause and approval. Ahh, wouldn't it be refreshing to have a sensible woman in the White House? Haha, but then again, who even knows what the right choice is anymore?

Okay, perhaps I should get back to the MUN stuff. I'm writing a lovely speech to give to the entire delegation, mostly about how Pakistan mourns the plight of the Muslim world on the global stage and such. Good, right? Haha.

For some reason, it felt worthwhile to post this. It's something I wrote personally a couple of months ago and it just felt like I wanted to share it. I think I'll do some more things like this, posting things that I've previously written for myself. But anyway, enjoy it.


"Love is so overused and misused that it has lost much of the weight it used to carry. It is a word used not so much to convey meaning, but more to blanket a situation in a cloak of perfect. It is acceptable to be in love, but it is not acceptable to simply be in lust or to just be in a comfortable and complacent relationship. Love is used so that people do not have to work too much, or think too much, or evaluate too much, or define their emotions too much. I think the number of people who use the word with its full intended meaning is quite small.

Because of this deterioration, the people that are truly in love are cheated of the recognition and respect they deserve. It has become increasingly difficult to distinguish who is living love and who is acting it. So to all of those who live it, I admire you. I know that love is not something that happens immediately or quickly. I know that love is not always easy and beautiful and perfect. I know that love is not something to play with, not something to pretend at. I know that in the end, no one may notice or understand or care about everything you have achieved. Society has ignored the old man and woman celebrating their 50th anniversary and has instead focused on the actress who, though divorced three times before age 30, seems to be in love again.

No matter how many times people claim love, its beauty is only found by the deserving. That beauty is not found by the 26 year old woman who signs a pre-nup stating the stipulations of the implied divorce before entering into a loving marriage. It is found by the woman who sews the buttons back on her husbands shirt so that he is dressed well for his first corporate job. It is found by the man who never questions putting all the money he has into a joint account with his wife. It is found by the man and woman who sit up until 4 a.m. to work out a fight rather than go to bed angry. It is found by those who never fail to get butterflies when they hold hands, those who are still rendered weak in the knees by a kiss, those who sleep badly when they cannot hear the gentle breathing of the one who holds their heart. Perhaps that love is not recognized until you realize you do not mind rubbing your husbands arthritic hands, or until you realize that a lifetime has not been near enough time to spend together. In any case, true love is always eventually beautiful and anything else is always proven a farce. And all I can do is pray that I will find the former in all its connotations."

So here I am, back in Norway yet again. I've just spent almost the entire month of December back home for the holidays and it was a much-needed break. I can't remember having such a good time at home in a long time :). I did miss college though, and that was nice as well. I expected to come back all recharged and with everyone in a good mood, but unfortunately that's not how it is. Everyone is just a bit off, myself included. I'm not sure if it's exactly homesickness, but that's a part of it. The rainy days, schoolwork, and headaches are also a part of it too. I'm just not sure, I feel like I'm in a bit of a slump and I just want to curl up in bed all day. But I know it'll pass, I just need some time to get readjusted. A good weekend of World Today and Snikkarbua and a party is probably just what I need to get back into the whole UWC mood.

Speaking of the World Today, I'm a bit worried about it. World Today is this presentation and debate that a group of us put on every Friday. We try and keep it about contemporary and controversial issues, so sometimes it gets pretty heated. This Friday, we're doing one on the execution of Saddam Hussein. I feel like the only person on campus that supports the use of the death penalty. I get quite sick of this sentiment that here, we are all just so liberal and humanitarian and we're going to save the world and so on. It's a bit of an elitist philosophy, I think. But anyway, many people here feel that the world is "above" the death penalty. But I think that as a responsible member of society and as a human being, you have to think long and hard about issues rather than making flash judgements based on what seems to be the most moral solution. You cannot know what you would want to do to a person who masscred say, your family. Or in this case, you cannot know what you would want to do to a person who terrorized your entire nation, killed hundreds of thousands of your own people, and led a harsh and unjust regime. You simply cannot understand that unless it has happened to you. And when I try to empathsize with that, the only conclusion I come to is that sometimes, the death penalty is unavoidable. Also, prisons are for rehabilitation, therefore I don't see much point in wasting taxpayer dollars to keep someone in prison who has no chance of rehabilitation, no chance of change. I'll admit it's a difficult issue and that there's more to it than just this, but I just feel very alone in my opinion at the moment.

Saw a bit of snow today, but not really enough to be anything. Snowed all around the campus though. I'm enjoying the cold, to be honest. It's refreshing.

I'll write again soon.